Marius, son of Frank and Mrs Frank the Potter certainly fits the student profile.
Especially one studying philosophy and languages at Mainz University.
An energy drink is “cognitive enhancement” and he’s been unsuccessfully trying to convince me in extended discussions that I’m a died-in-the-wool capitalist via obscure terminology (autonomy, heteronomy, cultural and economic capital, all of which is underpinned – or overlaid – by/with dichotomous whatever) he’s recently learned.
Signs his emails “The (pseudo) intellectual”
At least he hasn’t lost his sense of humour…