Or…..
“Oi! Who stole my steering wheel?!”
When I moved to Germany back in the 70s, I drove over in a red 1968 MGB.
Right hand drive which poses immediate problems in left hand drive Europe.
Like overtaking or using a swipe card to access parking buildings. Or paying the attendant when you exit aforementioned parking building.
But it has HUGE potential for fun.
I’d replaced the massive OEM steering wheel with something akin to coming from a Formula 1 Lotus.
Invisible to the unsuspecting observer.
My cousin Graham was over on a visit and we hatched the plan to put the willies up the local populace.
I’d drive down the road with my hands at the bottom of the wheel, swerving from side to side and Graham – sitting where the locals would expect to see the driver – would wave the original wheel and wail “HILFE! HILFE!. Mein Lenkrad!”
Worked a treat……
Sculpture: Prof Heinz Hemrich
Mainz Daily Photo 
On a visit to Germany I had filled my tank, and proceeded to open the usual door (on the right). “Oi! Who stole my steering wheel?!”
Just as I suspected, you’ve ALWAYS been a mess JB!!!
V
Is this a perfect likeness?! “Worked a treat” is a great phrase; mind if I use it now and then? Re. your escapades: where do you get these ideas?? Part of your DNA? What were your parents like?