Translation as (pdf) here
….in the summer (if you can call it that…) of the Year MMXI that the renowned
bird scribess Cibus Mercator of the Moguntiae Genera Papyrus did with great difficulty locate the ancient hermit scribe of Moguntiae Quotidie Pictura in the hills above Moguntia.
And she did proceed to interrogate him with searching questions and did not let him get away with not answering a single one.
But the ancient hermit scribe of Moguntiae Quotidie Pictura was verily worn out by this onslaught and did avail himself of a refreshment (it might have been two. Or even three…) made from the grains of the barley plant to recover.
And on the next day she did further require the ancient hermit scribe to rock on down to the Piazza Mercator in Moguntia shortly after the sun had risen in the
east west wherever it rises and to encounter the Pictor Sämmer when the clock did strike X.
And Pictor Sämmer did unsheath his Instrumentum Canonus and did create graven images on tables of silica of the hermit scribe inspecting the Portae Gutenbergus.
And in the following week, the scribess Cibus Mercator did arrange for her words and for the graven images of Pictor Sämmer to be affixed to all walls of the city of Moguntia and required by decree that all merchants of papyrus did offer the words and graven images to the publica of the city.
And the publica did
issue from themselves a GREAT NOISE as if yawning fight among themselves for the sheets of papyrus and cried “Why did we not know about this hermit? Where has he been hiding? And why doth he speak in foreign tongues?”
And after this day whenever the ancient hermit scribe did venture into Moguntia, the populus would follow him in great crowds, crying “Oh great scribe, we beseech thee to put thy words on the papyrus for us and create graven images of us with your Instrumentum Nikonus D7000 with the 18-200mm f3.5-f5.6 cum procul victrum. And we will cross thy palm generously with coins of gold. Nordic Gold, actually. What the 50c coins are made of – 89% of copper, 5% aluminium and 1% zinc ”
So it worked out quite well, after all, what with the price of copper these days….