Translation as (pdf) here
….in the summer (if you can call it that…) of the Year MMXI that the renowned bird scribess Cibus Mercator of the Moguntiae Genera Papyrus did with great difficulty locate the ancient hermit scribe of Moguntiae Quotidie Pictura in the hills above Moguntia.
And she did proceed to interrogate him with searching questions and did not let him get away with not answering a single one.
And the scribess Cibus Mercator did faithfully record his answers on her rolls of papyrus and did then depart through the fields to the Home of the Scribes on the Collis Iuvenor.
But the ancient hermit scribe of Moguntiae Quotidie Pictura was verily worn out by this onslaught and did avail himself of a refreshment (it might have been two. Or even three…) made from the grains of the barley plant to recover.
And on the next day she did further require the ancient hermit scribe to rock on down to the Piazza Mercator in Moguntia shortly after the sun had risen in the east west wherever it rises and to encounter the Pictor Sämmer when the clock did strike X.
And Pictor Sämmer did unsheath his Instrumentum Canonus and did create graven images on tables of silica of the hermit scribe inspecting the Portae Gutenbergus.
And in the following week, the scribess Cibus Mercator did arrange for her words and for the graven images of Pictor Sämmer to be affixed to all walls of the city of Moguntia and required by decree that all merchants of papyrus did offer the words and graven images to the publica of the city.
And the publica did issue from themselves a GREAT NOISE as if yawning fight among themselves for the sheets of papyrus and cried “Why did we not know about this hermit? Where has he been hiding? And why doth he speak in foreign tongues?”
And after this day whenever the ancient hermit scribe did venture into Moguntia, the populus would follow him in great crowds, crying “Oh great scribe, we beseech thee to put thy words on the papyrus for us and create graven images of us with your Instrumentum Nikonus D7000 with the 18-200mm f3.5-f5.6 cum procul victrum. And we will cross thy palm generously with coins of gold. Nordic Gold, actually. What the 50c coins are made of – 89% of copper, 5% aluminium and 1% zinc ”
So it worked out quite well, after all, what with the price of copper these days….
Mainz Daily Photo 
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And so it is that I love your translation. Naja, sowas aehniches haben die im Originaltext auch wirklich geschrieben, ne?
And so it came to pass that it is impossible to improve upon the previous comments.
…and the puella pipistrellum, cast away from the magnificient city of Moguntiacum to the strange and distant shores of Asia Magna to the city of Supra Marem got the news of the elderly hermits fame and felt great joy.
And great throngs in Alabama did beg the elderly scribe to do likewise in the South and great mounds of okra and copper pots overflowing with moonshine were offered up to sweeten the deal.
V
And soon the news spread to other parts of the world and crowds from distant cities started crying “oh great hermit, we beseech thee to put more words for us and create more images for us so we can follow the life of your great city. And if you will travel to our distant land please bring your Nikonus D7000 with you so we can marvel at this instrumentum and we will please your soul by offering you a refreshment (or two, or three) made from the grains of the barley plant.
As I am currently in East London, I say unto thee, “Nice one guv”.
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))